Cigarette Contemplator T-Shirts

Albert Camus.

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.

Sisyphus during Covid

Professional woman in pub

The Anti-Materialist

'Harold took the advice of the 'experts' and only invested in things he understood, which is why our portfolio consists entirely of Anheuser-Busch and Phillip Morris.'

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

Nocturne

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Having flexibility over where and when you work, can help with your productivity.

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

Questioning

Boyfriend Shirt.

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'I gave up smoking, drinking and sex...It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life.'

Nigel Farage

"No cause for alarm, we're just the voices in your head on a ciggy break."

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

"I'm going on a retreat."

Warning.

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

"Look! A camel!"

"Oh, go on. Let them have a go at shooting the cigarette out of your mouth... I mean, it's not like it'll matter if they miss and accidentally hit you."

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

Practical Angst: 'I could sit here thinking about my problems until the cows come home, and then I'd have to stop thinking and go and feed them, so I might as well not think to start with.'

A month of Sundays