Cider Connoisseur Pillows

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

Bikers.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Party Animals.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'No ice.'

'He likes to power nap.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Join me in a Martini?

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Farm Humor.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

The Snarky District

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'