Cider Aficionado T-Shirts

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

'No ice.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Join me in a Martini?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'