Chutney Aficionado Gifts

Chutney

"Too much sugar."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Bubble gum leaves

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Baby rocks!

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Filling the Missile Gap

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'Son, life is a mixed blessing, they eat the fancy nuts and toss us the peanuts.'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

Doughnut Criminals

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

'Who needs sticky-notes when you've just eaten 6 jelly doughnuts.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I'm nuts about you, but then I'm nuts about everybody …"

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Food history: Invention of the doughnut. Why the hole? Always leave them wanting more!

"I can't clean my room right now! Don't you always tell me to slow down and finish my meals?"

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"