Church Renovation Pillows

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

Witch Hardware

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

A cock up of builders

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"