Church Environment Gifts

'Verger, give me a hand to move the font over a bit. . .'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"That's our new church mascot."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

'Let us pray...'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Sermon Applause.

Vicar wearing sunglasses.