Church Aesthetics Enthusiast Gifts

New curate discussing the pulpit with his paritioners

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"That's our new church mascot."

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"We'd like some scenes from Genesis over here, followed by David composing the Psalms over there, and at the end, let's have Abraham pointing the way to the coat room."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"I wanted to make it look like the ones at church."

Cathedral Made Safe.

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Hymns - Optional Extras

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Pope Francis

Stainglass Windows '33

Vicar

Priest getting stained glass glasses.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

If Adam and Eve were Baptist.

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Please follow safe worship practices.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

Paint by numbers stained glass windows