Church Comic Lovers Gifts

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

How's my Sermon . . .

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Eucharist

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

"First, you have to get their attention."

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

Ding and Dong.

"God, I hate cows."

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Confession Ratings.

Vicar preaching at pulpit

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

"It's the new church organ."

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...