Church Art Pillows

Paint by numbers stained glass windows

'I admit that we are a progressive order Brother, but when I asked you to update our stained-glass window...'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Let us pray...'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

The ten ammendments

Sermon Applause.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

United Church of OMG

The Sleeping Congregation.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'