Church Art Gifts

Paint by numbers stained glass windows

'I admit that we are a progressive order Brother, but when I asked you to update our stained-glass window...'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Let us pray...'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Sermon Applause.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

The ten ammendments

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

United Church of OMG

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"