Church Adventurer Gifts

"I think it means this is how they treat you 'In Rhode Island'."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

"That's our new church mascot."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

Bankside

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

'I can remember when there were only farms around here.'

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

'Don't worry mother, he'll be alright in London with that introduction letter to a traffic warden.'

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

Pope Francis

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

Urban Life.

Vicar