Church Activities Pillows

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

R.C.I.A.

"Alright, who's the ringleader?"

'Ok, Flight of the Bumblebee ... once more with feeling'

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'Ed moves that we buy new choir slickers and adjourn for pizza. Do I hear a second?'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

St. Agnes Catholic Church: Meatless Friday Lenten Dinner 6 PM.

"Cutting edge stuff, Mrs Bellamy - Cordless Bell Ringing."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

'Trust in God, but count your change.'

'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth - but not the oil and mineral rights.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, but thanks to bingo I still get to church once a week.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Wait...I have a coupon.'

'These days you're lucky to have a sound tenant.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'The love of money is the root of all evil? Is that the whole treasurer's report?'

'The pipe organ costs a hundred and ten thousand. Four music stands for Ed's Gospel Quartet, eighty five fifty. Discussion.'

'I appreciate you enthusiasm...but please stop doing the Wave.'

'This church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, and twenties. . .'

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'Everyone in favor of buying cooler choir robes for the summer, sing hallelujah!'

''The knitting circle are playing their part in our heating effficiency programme.'

Ding and Dong.

Bell notes fall on a bell-ringer.

Can't talk now, I'm on a mission!

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'