Chuck Norris Admirer Gifts

The N Files

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Arabian island

Horatio Nelson

'Hurry, Andrea, here comes the hunk mail!'

'That's the great Scottish Indian fighter, Hawkeye the Noo!'

Alexandre Dumas

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

Condoleezza Rice

Cowboy reads book: 'The Joy of Tex'.

"So would Chuck Norris be impressed with my kick or mad about the bag?!"

"I think Maurice has gone feral."

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

Tex knew a rattling noise meant a dangerous snake. But fortunately there was no rattle.

'Honestly, if you're looking in Loch Ness you're way off!'

'Lost the mask again, Kemosabe?'

Bill O'Reilly

There is bliss. And then there is pure bliss.

"I'm beginning to think he doesn't want to go back to civilization."

RIP Tommy Brown, Northern club comedian, famous catchphrase "You can't beat a good fry-up."

Did I leave the plunger in the toilet again?

A northern cow

'This is Man Tuesday.. He changed his name by deed poll.'

'No, I don't think 'Indian Love Call' would make better theme music!'

"It's amazing...no matter what we do. They just keep on re-electing us..."

"Of course, Curtis Mayfield was a god. Many people forget that nowadays."

Speeding lorry with Morris Dancer outlines on front.

Department for exciting the EU

"Time for bed, Mr. President."

large hadron collider

'I don't always take Brian's side.. I've got a mind of my own you know!'

'Unbelievable, you can destroy the universe with a single blow...'

"I think one of my favorite things about being on hold for two hours, and there are many, is being reminded that Chuck Mangione plays a mean flugelhorn."

Can't recall the girl's name, or the year, or her apartment, but I'll never forget the liner notes on her "Chuck Berry Live at the Fillmore" LP. Joe has a phonographic memory.

Richard Nixon.