Chronicle Chaser Pillows

Man looks at the bills of mortality in the morning paper and feels unwell

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Southwark Fair.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Letter writing lady.

'How fast can you hype?'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

Tango

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Bookworm Romance

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'I didn't even know the carnival was in town!'

"God must have been very pleased."

Bin Laden

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

Economics journalist

'Sleaze, please.'

The Original Stonehenge: '...it's just that I hate all the effort to alter the clock twice a year.'