Chronically Online Pillows

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

"I spent my whole life on the Internet."

Moses on the web

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"OMG, LOL!"

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

Online Dating

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Technology and Love

Egguy JUMP!! 62 Eggs like this. Gr'Egg LOL. M'Egg OMG so funny!!!!! 3.

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'How do I get people to visit my...'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'I got caught in a blogstorm.'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Zoom Wedding

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

We met online.

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?