Chronically Online Pillows

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

Moses on the web

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"OMG, LOL!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

Online Dating

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Technology and Love

A convenient attack of swine flu...

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

Zoom Wedding

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

We met online.

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."