Chronic Shopper Gifts

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

Jungle Stores.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Clown in supermarket looking at a tin of Canned Laughter.

One Dollar, One Vote

Cash Rebate

How do you like the new suit?

Maze Leading to a Cheese Shop

It took the members of the seance almost 2 hours to make contact with Muriel but it was worth it."

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

Complaints (just kidding).

White Sale

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'What do you mean, you forgot where you parked. You've been shopping online.'

Man bids at Internet auction site

"We have no specials today, Ma'am. 'Cyber Monday' means robots are taking the orders."

Last minute gift ideas

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

Hairnet for your tortoise? Certainly, sir, what size and colour?

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'

Saving the planet

sale on paradigm shifts.

Which magazine?

Tallit barcode

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.

"I should stop buying shoes."

Bottled water has no trans fats.

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."

Just for the Smell of It - Candle Shop.