Creative Shopper Gifts

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'What's that you say Flipper ,,,We need to go to the shops and buy more sardines,'

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

Man on Stilts in a Market

Mall of ages

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Self Magazine,

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

One Dollar, One Vote

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Guilty Pleasures

Vendo Tree.

'Try and look skint-here comes my boss!'