Chronic Delayer Pillows

"I'd like to welcome you all to the procrastinators club. I move we defer the reading of the minutes of the last meeting until our next meeting...which has been postponed!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

Exercise vs Laxative.

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

Congressional Gym. I never need to go in there. I get plenty of exercise kicking the can down the road.

"On/Slightly Off"

Train Arrivals

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"There's no way we can come to a decision - the meeting has only lasted half an hour."

"Sorry I'm late, I was asleep when my alarm went off."

"Wow. This sucks."

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

Welcome To I'll-Start-Tomorrow-Cise!

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

"What a day. The man I pass the buck to was off sick."

Annual Convention of Procrastinators: 'Where is everybody?'

"It wasn't an easy decision to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodneys retirement party due in only 12 years

'Wow, if peas in a pod can't get along, things are worse than I thought.'

Eleven coffees with donuts; one herb tea and bran muffin.

"For cryin' out loud, are you signing up or not?"

Rail Platform Information: I Speak Your Wait.

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

"It's amazing how if you wait long enough, everything you've been putting off becomes irrelevant."

"Well, would you believe the cloud ate my homework?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is this wait time going to be?"

1 hour delay, 2 hour delay, 3 hour delay.

"I'm just going out - I may be some time..."

"It's a common cold, Brian, it hardly warrants the googling of 'Assisted suicide' sites."