Christmas Tree Warriors Gifts

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"Bob's a tool belt."

'You can rely on Bryan to keep Christ in Christmas.'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

"I don't want any gifts from the woods that crawl or slither."

Garden Pest Solutions

IUCN Pronouns

'All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names.'

'We have to plant a tree every time we go out.'

Father Christmas lifting presents as a workout.

'Native wildlife self preservation.'

'Oh that, Laura went on a hunting trip with her boss a couple of monthe ago.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

Bauble

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

'We're running over budget. Better board up all the other windows, too.'

When Worlds Collide

"To hell with the company's cloud strategy! As a shareholder, I want to know the company's stand on the endangered black-footed ferret."

"Frankly, I'm not sure your disguise will fool the poachers..."

A man stuck in a snowman

"Wherever you look, there's medical marijuana, but not a word about veterinary marijuana."

"I need some garden work done. A strangling vine of unthinking obedience has completely overgrown my tree of liberty out frint."

Santa versus Christianity

"Welcome to Compulsive Eaters Anonymous..."

"I'm going for the stripped pine look."