Christmas Tree Perfectionist Gifts

Man glueing individual needles to Christmas tree.

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Writer

Poetry repairman

Perfection

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

The Big Tree

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Sleeping on the Job

Santa's Out Tray.

"You're welcome."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"Quit moving"

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

Masky Christmas!

"Now you can send it."

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

The Scream Painting

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."