Christmas Tree Perfectionist Pillows

Man glueing individual needles to Christmas tree.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Writer

Perfection

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

The Big Tree

Sleeping on the Job

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"You're welcome."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Masky Christmas!

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Quit moving"

"Now you can send it."

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

Copycat.

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'