Christmas Story Critic Gifts

'Where were the wise women?'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born

It happened on Christmas Eve

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

Rudolph Red Light District

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

'My dad, says you're not the real Santa. He said, you're just some fella off the dole.'

While Shepherds watched their flocks by night

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

'About this patriarchal middle-class morality of yours....'

"I'm getting a CAT scan after Christmas."

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

"And this is where the magic happens."

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

Santa Claus

Santa Sucks

Twas 6 days before Christmas when Santa heard a ker-plunk! He rushed to the door, and found the ice cap had shrunk...