Christmas Story Buff Pillows

Holy Coke

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

Rudolph With His Nose So Bright.

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'How do I celebrate Spring? Cinco de Vino.'

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

Sadly, Rapunzel didn't account for the Prince's weight.

While Shepherds watched their flocks by night

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

"It's time we have a little chat."

'My dad, says you're not the real Santa. He said, you're just some fella off the dole.'

Slay Ride.

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

'It doesn't say anything about gift tax, son. It just says the Magi came bearing gifts.'

"I'm getting a CAT scan after Christmas."

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

Twas 6 days before Christmas when Santa heard a ker-plunk! He rushed to the door, and found the ice cap had shrunk...

Santa's Little Enablers

Santa Claus

"The tree needed water. Maybe it's the plumber..."

"Hey boy! Hey! Hey! Hey! Are those earbuds? Hey!!"

"I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school-boy." "Our only hope."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas past and future because time has no meaning anymore."

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

"Tell me again about how I can shop online and have gifts delivered without leaving my office."