Christmas Revelers Gifts

'The first Santa to consume one thousand warm beers and one thousand pieces of fruit cake without barfing wins the Santa apprenticeship!'

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

THUMBS UP FOR THE NEW YEAR!

The New Year's Dance

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

Pole dancers

"Another round?"

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'Do you expect to be stuffed on Thanksgiving?'

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"The last week of school is totally cool!"

"I'm the designated driver."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

The night after Christmas.

"I'm your sun!"

Christmas with Cats

December Fest

Holiday Overkill.

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

'Don't forget your thermos.'

'Happy New Year!'

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"I hate recalls."