Holiday Season Revelers Gifts

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Santa does a keg stand.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"The last week of school is totally cool!"

"I'm the designated driver."

The night after Christmas.

December Fest

'Don't forget your thermos.'

'Which is yours??'

"C'mon, get up...it's Christmas! Let's go! There's presents to open!"

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

A man pushes a glitterball up a mountain

"After our big family holiday dinners, we always have some leftovers."

Jesus, as a child, heals the blind snowman....

New Year's Eve Dinner

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

"Why can't we just have a normal Thanksgiving?"

"Northern pole all-nighter

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

Hoping to boost holiday shopping, many retailers have installed vacuum doorways.

'Here's your complimentary diaper, Sir.'

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

'Rudolf?'