Holiday Season Revelers Gifts

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

Christmas Tree

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

December Fest

The night after Christmas.

"I'm the designated driver."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

'Don't forget your thermos.'

"C'mon, get up...it's Christmas! Let's go! There's presents to open!"

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'It's not just the Oktoberfests, it's the novemberfests, birthdayfests, flagdayfests, mayfests, arboedayfests...'

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

"After our big family holiday dinners, we always have some leftovers."

A man pushes a glitterball up a mountain

New Year's Eve Dinner

Alcoholidays: Beethovens fifth.

"Why can't we just have a normal Thanksgiving?"

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Rudolf?'

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

'If it brings mom some little seed of joy to feed me, pick up after me and treat me like a helpless baby, then let her!!'

'Here's your complimentary diaper, Sir.'

"Northern pole all-nighter