Christmas Preparations Pillows

"Which list do you want first, A-L or M-Z?"

'Haven't you noticed Christmas sales are starting earlier and earlier every year?'

'I'm nowhere near ready for Christmas.'

'Right. That's half the Christmas shopping done, dear!'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

'It's exhausting writing so many cards at this time of year.' - 'Sometimes I ask my, 'Is it really worth the effort?'' - 'Sometimes I think, 'Should I even be stalking these people in the first place?''

Santa Claus's Mail

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Fight or Flight

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Ice Skater

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Santa's wash day.

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

The other days of the year...

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"