Christmas Preparation Pillows

'Wow. .. The only way that could possibly get any worse, is if you put the wrapping paper inside the box.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Should we send a card to that couple we met in Cornwall, in 1993?"

"I'm worried about Jimmy. He lacks social skills, craves approval, and is obsessed with repetitive tasks. We should take him to a doctor."

"If you want a special gift for Christmas you have to shop early."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Fight or Flight

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Santa's wash day.

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

The other days of the year...

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color