Christmas Preparations T-Shirts

"Which list do you want first, A-L or M-Z?"

'Haven't you noticed Christmas sales are starting earlier and earlier every year?'

'I'm nowhere near ready for Christmas.'

'Right. That's half the Christmas shopping done, dear!'

'It's exhausting writing so many cards at this time of year.' - 'Sometimes I ask my, 'Is it really worth the effort?'' - 'Sometimes I think, 'Should I even be stalking these people in the first place?''

Santa Claus's Mail

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Fight or Flight

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Ice Skater

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Santa's wash day.

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

The other days of the year...

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'