Christmas Play Fans Gifts

'My - I don't remember my second-grade Christmas play dealing with post-holiday depression.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Santa's wash day.

"Gesundheit!"

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"How was the play!"

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

"Best Hamlet I've ever seen - pity the rest of the cast were doing Macbeth!"

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

About Santa 2017.

Waiting For Godot And The Cable Guy

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