Christmas Fanatics Gifts

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Missing Elf - Call Santa

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa called but you were out!

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Santa's wash day.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Gesundheit!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

'And that,and that,and that...'

Pole dancers

The other days of the year...

A Christmas tree self portrait

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"