Christmas Planner Gifts

'Christmas is coming; I want to review my policy.'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

'What? -- You didn't get your letter to Santa notarized?'

'What are you doing for Christmas?'

'Well, that does it! I am picking out the Christmas tree!'

'Remember how proud we were to have our tree up much earlier this year?'

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'In order to improve customer service your presence will now be available for collection at the North Pole.'

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"Every year I give my grandparents the same thing. . . a list of everything I want for Christmas."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Heading off with a packed bag

Italia tours

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'