Christmas Planners Gifts

It's ironic, these days money goes a lot faster, but not as far as it used to.

"You know full well you didn't give me what I wanted last year so, this time - sign this promise!"

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Bad gifts

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'