Christening Planner Gifts

"Not yet ANOTHER flippin' Aaron? How about his biblical brother, Moses?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Margarita

Italia tours