Church Planner Gifts

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

"We only got six days of funding."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"Who's got the hammer?"

Quality Control

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

When Engineers Crack.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

New York Netherworld

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"That's our new church mascot."

Conference Pears

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"Is it me, or are these potholes getting worse?"

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"