Christmas Cruisers Gifts

Pucker up!

Cimafunk

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Angel doing the hula hoop.

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Poinsettia

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

Holiday Overkill.

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

"I suggest we either move the chair further inland, or get a higher chair."

Meh, I've been on higher.

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- Are you a Keynesian or something?'

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

Crumpled pieces of paper form the shape of a Christmas tree.

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

Venice Emergency Plumbing Service

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

Dueling Christmas Lights

Xmas wrapping paper blower.

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"They didn't tell us this blues cruise actually gives you the blues."

"You can tell me. They're all knock-offs...RIGHT?"

'The carnival has a company car.'