Christmas Conqueror Gifts

Dueling Christmas Lights

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

What My Day Feels Like

Keeping warm.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

A guide to seasons in the North East

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Are you kidding, Billy? We climbed all the way up Everest and you forgot the freaking sleds?!'

Yoga To-Do

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

"Fish needs bigger hole."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'