Christmas Cookie Enthusiast Gifts

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

Santa looking at a plate of cookies and a bottle of hand sanitizer

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."