Christmas Comic Gifts

'It's easy to tell when it's Nativity Play time - I can never find a tea-towel.'

The Turkey Lure

'Oops.'

Getting Religion Back Into Christmas.

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Maybe this year..."

Hip hop Santa.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

'I spend the winter in Sarasota now, since I sold my entire list to telemarketers.'

'The church offering was really down this week, we received three I.O.U.'s.'

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

'Can I come in for a bit? It's flipping freezing out here!'

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

"It's time we have a little chat."

Christmas Cracker Joke Editor.

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

'Hunting doesn't make you naughty, it's natural: Santa knows that...'

"Just relax, take a deep breath and tell Mommy and Daddy which plate of brownies you left out."

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'That reminds me, we need more bandwidth.'

'Cap hair.'

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

Santa the mugger.

"It's October! I can't believe they already have Christmas comics."

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

Ghost of Happy Holidays Future

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"