Christmas Comic Lover Gifts

'Well of course I'm not Santa! He contracts out!'

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

A Bored Rudolph

'Stop whining, and let your Auntie have a turn on Santa's knee!'

"Merry Christmas."

"Hello, Police?! This is the Star of Bethlehem...I think I'm being followed by these three guys! I'ts really freakin' me out!!"

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."