Christmas Comic Lover Pillows

'Well of course I'm not Santa! He contracts out!'

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

A Bored Rudolph

'Stop whining, and let your Auntie have a turn on Santa's knee!'

"Merry Christmas."

"Hello, Police?! This is the Star of Bethlehem...I think I'm being followed by these three guys! I'ts really freakin' me out!!"

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

An early space launch attempt.

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Zeus's Caddy