Christmas Comedy Lover Pillows

'This whole North Pole thing of yours ? is it some kind of tax dodge or what?'

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

Kid writes directions to ATM machine for Santa if gifts are too expensive

Santa reading newspaper by the light of Rudolph's nose

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'Ever ask yourself how one could be all over the world at the same time on Christmas Eve?'

Insultive Christmas elves

'Santa's blotto.'

Rudolf brown nosing his way in

Santa eating a reindeer.

"Wanna use the door?"

'Excellent! Now if you can just make them blink, I may have a place for both of you'

Official Policy: No more housecalls.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'I watch this Christmas cartoon every year and I still don't get why the dog eats a gigantic pile of human femur bones.'

Visit Santa.

Santa with a miniature reindeer on a lead.

'Dammit. That means we're not Santa, or his reindeer!'

"You've been so naughty this year, that not only won't you get any presents ever again, neither will your grandchildren!"

'Pass the word around. My people can make me very happy this Christmas by conquering a wealthy country for my Christmas present.'

"I think it's still leaning a bit to the right."

Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer.

'Listen buddy, everyone wants their job done before Christmas, what makes you so special?!'

Santa Claus Christmas Texting

Christmas sale

Santa Claus waits for chimney sweep to clean chimney before he enters it.

"He won't do a thing now till next December."

"Claus Trophobia"

"Rudolph will be ready to go by Christmas. I'm charging his nose and installing new software."

"B.O.G.O.F. at the supermarket."

"Because we caught him betting on them - that's why he can't play in any reindeer games."

"Looks like we weren't the only ones to follow the North Star."

"Santa's been taking too many potty breaks."

"He can make the World but he can't make a reservation?"

"He must be a South Pole elf..."