Christmas Comedians Gifts

The truth behind Rudolph's red nose...

Hand emerges from King Arthur's xmas pudding with a coin.

"Operator, these three men on camels have been following me all night! I stop, they stop. I go, they go. I'm so scared. . ."

Santa Claus and the pandemic

'I'd like my Daddy out of jail.' 'I wish we stuck to making toys.'

'While you're makin' a list and checkin' it twice, how about checkin' ID? Some of these ‘kids' are, like, in their 30s.'

'Santa Claus again for you.'

'Do you mean 'naughty or nice' in the traditional sense, or the politically correct sense?'

Geez!! Rudolf has put on some weight during lockdown

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Stonehenge Sandcastle

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Santa Elevator

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

"Maybe this year..."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

Hip hop Santa.

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat