Christmas Chuckle Seeker Pillows

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

Bad fake tan day.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Reindeer

"Hey! Get back here!"

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

'I'm glad you came to me. Visions of ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are clearly delusions based on underlying psychological conflicts.'

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

"Well, I ain't flyin' next to him!"

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Santa Self Esteem.

'Okay, cough.'

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

Oh my goodness! Now these 500 cm of snow are melting!

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

"What I want for Christmas is to have the day off and watch 'Miracle on 34th Street'."

'computer says no.....el!'

Ladder in a lift shard.

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Even Santa outsources

Rum Pah Pum Pum!

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

Satellite Santa

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'