Christmas Chuckle Champion Pillows

Bah Humbug!

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Chiropractor jokes.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

'Number two - can you say: 'Screw the milk and cookies...where's the VCR?' In a cheerful, jolly voice?'

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

Santa's Nightmares

'Big Issue!'

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

'Okay, cough.'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'I think he's perfect for 'The Morale Committee'.'

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

"If you can't bring me cash, bring me stuff I'll be able to sell on eBay.!

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'