Christian Satire Admirer Gifts

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Women Preachers? Gay relationships? Let's pray for guidance.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"OMG, LOL!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

The ten ammendments

Church restrooms

"That's my boy!"

Gates of heaven

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'All the tellers are nuns.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

Holy Relics.

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

"Do I get double bubble Sundays?"