Christian Philosopher Gifts

"Pop's always been big on tough love."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Thomas Cranmer

'Okay - who leaked?'

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

Yogi back in 5.

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

Out for lunch... GOD

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

'Are they fresh?'

Priest

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"