Choral Connoisseur Gifts

Claudius Monteverdi.

Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina

Archimedes statue with a lever

Baroque Peacock

Piano Recital

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Sir Edward Elgar

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Music Student

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Edward Elgar.

The Dog Choir

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Sergey Rahmaninov

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

Ventriloquist Audition

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for Music ofnthe Baroque

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"Great set of pipes!"

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

"You're supposed to buy your alcohol here, not bring it with you!"