Chop Champion T-Shirts

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"My wife has a black belt in cooking, she can kill a man with a single chop."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Haute Chinese

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

"It's the last of the Chef's Special. He says he'll arm-wrestle you for it."

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

Little known evolutionary steps.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

"Hide all the chopsticks."

Chinese noodles.

Sign on the door at Karate School.

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

"I think I OD'd On chocolate chip ice cream!"

'One more fish, Alice, and you'll be able to use the old frying pan.'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."

Customers Who Bought This

"Sounds like my daughter's back from her karate lesson."

"Family game night rocks! Especially when the winner decides what his prize is!"

Mary and the fat boy

yes it takes a little while to learn to handle chopsticks

Grooming Tips

Mike's New Chopper caused much comment among the cognoscenti.

Suddenly, while shoving a stack of poker chips into the pot, Joe snaps an elbow ligament, and another poker athlete's career comes to a tragic end.