Choir Humorist Gifts

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Elevator Music

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Monk Prompt

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

How's my sermon. . .

Guitar pickin'

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

Rap-scallions

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

The ten ammendments

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Bishops Snooker

The Sleeping Congregation.

Double Saxophone

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."