Choir Humorist T-Shirts

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Elevator Music

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Monk Prompt

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

How's my sermon. . .

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Double Saxophone

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

Rap-scallions

The ten ammendments

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

Bishops Snooker

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'